My Like, Love/Hate Relationship With Filler Words

I spend a lot of time thinking about words. How we use them, their meanings, and what the words we choose say about us. But what do filler words like “so,” “um,” “like,” and “you know” really say about us as speakers?

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

I host two podcasts, and I’m a co-host on another two. That’s a lot of time in front of a microphone. It’s also an opportunity to actually listen to what I sound like when I’m speaking. And friend, I’m not a huge fan of what I hear. My speech is peppered with filler words, I repeat myself, and I constantly stumble over words.

I’m not alone, filler words are so common that numerous studies have been done to try and understand how and why we use them. Officially, to language nerds, filler words are called “discourse markers” and they can be essential verbal signals that give listeners time to process information.

President Obama is a notable filler word user. His speeches contained lots of “uhhhh”s, and often to great effect. Many perceived him as a confident speaker who didn’t feel the need to rush, and who paused in order to underline a point. Indeed, there is a place for filler words in this world.

But there is a point of no return when the filler words start to detract from what you are trying to say. Where is that line exactly? There is no exact percentage of filler…

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Amie Kelbing - The Spinster Life

Writer/Creator/Content Marketer - Founder of The Spinster Life, for single women who love their single life. www.spinsterlife.com www.amiekelbing.com