Do you lose your individuality as part of a relationship?

What does commitment do to your sense of self?

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

The longer I’m single, the more I reevaluate my relationship to dating. Pre-spinsterhood, I wanted my identity to be “part of a couple.” And now? There’s a part of me that feels like becoming half of a relationship would mean giving up a part of my soul. But is there anything to this train of thought? Or am I rejecting relationships because I’m overcorrecting my past belief system?

Over on my YouTube channel I talked about labels in new relationships with dating coach Chantelle Dyson, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, because I thought that I had this issue figured out.

As with all things that are dealing with interpersonal relationships, you have to realize this is a point at which you can start to be vulnerable.

The reason that you feel uncomfortable with the prospect of someone asking [to be exclusive] is because for whatever reason, you are not yet ready to label it. In some way, it threatened your identity as an individual and knowing what you do and what your podcast is about and all of that independence, the idea of a relationship and then putting a label on it is almost a certification that this is now what we are and I’m no longer that single person that I was before, that’s it’s just me. It’s…

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Amie Kelbing - The Spinster Life

Writer/Creator/Content Marketer - Founder of The Spinster Life, for single women who love their single life. www.spinsterlife.com www.amiekelbing.com